


Over a Barrel

by verboseDescription



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Drowning, Pre-Canon, Sirens, The Desolation, or evil mermaids. whatever you wanna call her, yes! another statement about my oc!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:48:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28491918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/verboseDescription/pseuds/verboseDescription
Summary: There is something in the water that demands to be fed. You can leave the sea, but no matter where you go, she will follow. The only thing left is to face this fear head on.Statement of Alexander Cromwell, regarding his life as a sailor, and the woman who drowned him.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 9





	Over a Barrel

**[TAPE CLICKS ON]**

**GERTRUDE**

Can I have one of my assistants get you anything? Some tea, perhaps?

**ALEXANDER**

Oh, no, I’m… I’m fine. 

**GERTRUDE**

I believe Fiona left an extra blanket in the office. I can have someone fetch it for you, if you’d like.

**ALEXANDER**

Thank you, Ms. Robinson, but I’d really just like to get this over with, if you don’t mind.

**GERTRUDE**

Of course. 

Statement of Alexander Cromwell, regarding the woman who drowned him.

**ALEXANDER**

I guess the first thing you should know is that we saw her coming. Me and the rest of my crew, I mean. Even when we didn’t know what she was, we knew we were being hunted. I know everyone says that us sailors are a superstitious lot, and, well,  _ we are,  _ but that doesn’t mean we always jump right to the impossible. For a while, I just thought she was a shark. Bad luck to have something like that following your boat, even if she wasn’t scaring off the fish, but if we tried to make her leave, chances were, the fish would go with her. They’re sensitive creatures, you know? If something happens to the water, they’ll feel it. But I had bills that still needed paying. My wife had just given birth to our second daughter, and kids aren’t cheap. It didn’t matter if I knew her eyes were on me. Work came first.

Still, it was hard to ignore. Animals usually didn’t pay too much attention to our boat, unless they were avoiding it. We did have a few problems a couple years back with seagulls, but it wasn’t hard to figure out that we had something that interested them. This time, though, it wasn’t about hunger. The only thing she wanted on our boat was us.

It’s hard to act normal when you know you’re being followed, even if you think the thing that’s after you is just a fish. It wasn’t fear, just… apprehension. Any other day, we’d have been passing the time by singing, or telling jokes. It’s just nice to have a reminder that you’re not alone when you’re on such empty waters, you know? But our songs were never meant for the company of strangers, and it wasn’t long before the quiet overtook us. Probably for the best. She never liked the sounds we made. Please don’t—don’t ask me how I know that.

It wasn’t long before we realized that I was always the one to spot her first. The rest of the crew could be staring at the water for hours without seeing anything, but as soon as I walked by, there’d be a fin skimming the water that looked a bit too large to be anything else. Sometimes, I wouldn’t even have that much. Just a shadow in the water, or flippers splashing against the waves. But I always knew it was her.

Dmitri tried to laugh it off. I could tell he didn’t like this any more than I did, but it was easier to tell jokes than to let it be real. He told us this just meant we weren’t being followed by a shark, but a mermaid. She probably just fancied me and, pretty soon, she’d be hauling in our fish for us to prove her love. It didn’t take too long for the rest of the ship to pick up the joke. Pretty soon, I couldn’t go a day without someone asking me if I saw my “lady love.” Even then, the name didn’t feel right. The way she watched us just didn’t feel like love.

A few days later, the fish stopped biting. 

I almost didn’t notice what was happening at first, it started so slow. One bad haul isn’t any reason to worry. Two, you’ve got some bad luck, but three… well, only so long you can keep losing fish before you figure something’s wrong.

The first time our nets came back completely empty, all I heard was a splash. I tried to convince myself it wasn’t her, that there was no way she was powerful enough to keep us away from an entire ocean full of fish, but the next day, I spotted her again. It was just a sliver of a fin, but that was enough to make me pause. We moved our boat, hoping a new location would mean better luck, but it didn’t. That time, I really saw her. I’d heard hundreds of jokes about mermaids and sirens, but none of that prepared me for the shock of seeing a woman’s face under the water as I pulled back our net.

She didn’t say anything. She didn’t have to. She just stayed there, replacing the space in the ocean where I should be seeing my nice, normal face, staring up at me with the bloated eyes of a corpse. And then I blinked, and she was gone.

I tried to convince myself that I had imagined her. That it was just a trick of the light, brought on by all those stories I had been hearing every day, but the longer we stayed out at sea, the harder it was to stay ignorant. Every time we threw a net down, she was there. Sometimes she was barely noticeable—a shadow moving under the boat, the tell-tale sound of flippers against water, things we could attribute to anything, if we tried. Other times, I could swear I heard her laugh. I started praying for her to leave us alone, hoping that she’d get tired of us, or that she’d eaten her fill,  _ anything  _ to save us from the steady decline we were dealing with. But every time I thought we were free, I’d turn my head and see a ripple in the waves, and I knew it was her.

If she’d scared off our catch because of what she was, that’d be one thing. I couldn’t fault a shark for swimming, or for eating what was at the ready. Every good fisherman knew how to plan for an encounter with a hungry animal. But she’d been visiting us for days before our nets started coming back empty. And that meant that somewhere along the way, she had made her choice. 

She was doing this because she wanted to. Why else risk it? If she was scaring away the fish, they had to be gone long before we threw our nets in. Otherwise, we’d have caught her by now. The fact that we hadn’t meant she’d found some way to empty the ocean while we weren’t looking. That she knew enough about where we were going to take the fish out of our path ahead of time. That wasn’t hunger. Not the animal kind, anyway. A shark didn’t care about anything but its own existence. But our Lady was after something that only we could give her. And we still didn’t know what it was.

Hard to feel like joking once we realized that. This wasn’t some quirk of the sea we could keep brushing off; it was violence. And it was my fault. I didn’t know what I’d done, but it was obvious to everyone that what she was after was me, not them. I guess that’s why I wasn’t surprised when they all started avoiding me. Especially Manley. He bumped into me later that day, and immediately I started stumbling through an apology, but he refused to answer. Instead, he just stared at me, eyes so filled with cold hatred I couldn’t do anything but look away. 

It hurt. I won’t deny that. We’d known each other for years, and now none of them could stand the sight of me. It wasn’t too long before I went to Dmitri to ask for a few days off. At that point, I was just hoping for some kind of peace. I didn’t get it, of course. Too worried that she might have followed me to shore. I couldn’t let her come after my daughters. Or my wife. Whatever she wanted from me, it seemed fairly obvious she wanted me alone. And that meant I still had something she could take from me.

I had no proof she could find me on land, but I couldn’t convince myself I was safe, either. Even the simplest things were starting to feel dangerous. I tried to help my daughter into a bath one night, but as soon as I saw the water, I froze. I had already seen the Lady’s face once. I wasn’t sure I could risk seeing it again. If I did—I don’t know. I just knew I had already been given my first warning.

Ivah came by the next day. She’s one—sorry, she  _ was  _ one of my crewmates. I appreciated her checking up on me, and told her so. She responded by saying that she’d heard someone talking about our Lady. Apparently, we weren’t the first boat she went after. Ivah had heard of her following a few different ships, though strangely, none near where we usually fished. Ivah told me she always went after boats where everyone on it had been friends for years. Always targeted men with families, too. The happier you were, the more people would miss you if you were gone, the more she wanted you. It was never about the fear. It was about being the hurricane that tore a home apart.

The rest of the crew always managed just fine, though. Maybe that wasn’t a surprise. I couldn’t imagine many people would miss me after everything she’d done. Especially if Ivah was right, and the danger would leave with me. Manley was the only one of the crew who actually blamed me for what had happened, but he’d felt it strongly enough that there’d been talk of tossing me overboard. I didn’t want to say he hated me, not when I was still invited to his wedding, but I couldn’t deny he cared more about appeasing the sea than me. At least that meant the Lady had no reason to take him from me.

But even if I could accept losing my friends, there were still people I didn’t want to leave behind. People I didn’t want to get hurt if they got in her way. And if I was right about her being able to drown me at home, I’d have to face her, anyway. Otherwise, who knew what might become of me? I didn’t want a fight, but I didn’t want my last thoughts to be in a bathtub, either.

Ivah promised me she’d help me. I tried to protest, saying that she had an easy out, but she just shook her head and said she refused to be punished for loving her friends. I almost started crying right there. After everything that had happened, I didn’t expect someone to believe in me.

It didn’t take us long to ask Dmitri for his help as well. He found us an old boat we could use instead of risking our ship and helped us come up with a plan. The only thing left was to pick a day.

The waiting was the hardest part. I didn’t want to tell my wife what had happened, but everyone who looked my way could tell I was haunted by something. My daughters tried to help. One of them even wrote me a song. Called it a magic spell. It helped, for a bit. Gave me something to focus on other than what wanted me dead.

Once it was time, we got out to sea without too many problems. Only thing left to do was find our fish, so we sang.

Shanties are—well, they’re important to a sailor. There’s a hundred reasons to sing one, but it all comes down to one thing, really. Even if you’re just keeping a beat, or trying to waste some time—you do it because you want a sign that you’re not alone. Maybe that was why she couldn’t stand them.

It didn’t take long for us to realize we’d drifted farther than we meant to. The water around us was dark, and the temperature kept finding ways to drop lower. I don’t think any of us were surprised when the rain started. But the way it picked up—no natural storm starts that fast. 

Dmitri started shouting at Ivah and me, but we were too busy trying to keep the boat steady to listen. Hard to say how long we were at it. Too busy trying to keep from drowning to keep track of time. Even now, I can only remember what happened between the cracks of thunder. I remember going to fix the sail, and hearing something jumping out of the water. I remember clammy hands, wrapping themselves around me. I remember hearing Dmitri and Ivah calling my name. I remember the sudden rush of cold as I was dragged under. And I remember being gone.

At first, I was too surprised to fight it. It’s one thing to have someone want you dead, but it’s another to feel the air leaving your lungs and have no idea what you’ve done to deserve it. I barely even registered how strong her hold on me was, or how deep we were going. The only thing on my mind was a question— _ why me?  _ Out of every sailor on our ship, out of every man and woman out in the water, the Lady chose me. What made me such a worthy sacrifice? Why was I so special?

But the reason I was targeted would mean nothing if she killed me. As soon as my throat started to burn for air, instinct took over. I slammed my head into hers. I don’t think it hurt, but it surprised her enough that I could wiggle out of her grip. She tried to grab me again, but I bit her hand. I had a knife in my pocket, too, but I wasn’t willing to risk pulling it out. I needed to swim, not fight. A weapon wouldn’t mean anything if I drowned.

The faster I swam, the more I was certain it wouldn’t be enough. I kept feeling her claws grabbing at my legs, enough to scare me onwards, but never a solid hold. Now that I’m out of that sea, I know that was never the point. The fear was all part of the game. She wanted me to make it to the surface again. She knew drowning would hurt so much more if I had one final gasp of air.

But if that was my end, I needed to make it count. Instead of taking my time on the surface to gasp for air, I screamed. I was swallowing too much water for any words, but I needed some way to make myself heard. I’d been down in that murky ocean too long to be thinking much about logic. It didn’t occur to me I should still be right next to our boat. All I wanted was to be found. 

I didn’t think they could save me. I didn’t care. I thought of my wife, my daughters, all unaware of the danger I had placed myself in. Even if my body never left the sea, I wanted them to know how hard I had tried to come back home. 

And then I felt the Lady’s hand on my leg, and suddenly, I was back to tasting the cold, icy water of a stormy sea. I closed my eyes, already prepared for the worst, but… it didn’t happen.

Suddenly, I could feel the raindrops on my skin again. I opened my eyes, and shivered as the wind raged around me. The Lady was right in front of me, sitting on one of the many rocks sticking out of her ocean. After spending so long just catching glimpses, it was strange to see the whole of her. I had expected the fins. She had peeled enough of my skin that her claw-like hands didn’t surprise me. But I hadn’t expected her to be dressed like me. Despite her scales and her barely concealed row of shark teeth, there was a time before she had become a lady of the sea. She had been a person, once. A human being. Had there been anyone who missed her, before she gave in to this violence? Or had the desire for harm always been somewhere within her soul?

She stared at me, eyes large and haunting. I scrambled back, almost falling off the rock she had placed me on. She didn’t even bat an eye. It didn’t seem like she was planning on moving, but after everything that had happened, I wasn’t about to trust in her mercy. I stayed where I was, body tense and ready for another fight, until finally, she nodded to herself and turned away.

There were so many things I had expected her to do, but leaving wasn’t one of them. A part of me expected the wind to leave with her, but if anything, it just got louder. I wrapped my arms together and huddled close, trying to find some way I could stay warm despite the rain, but it was no use. I sat there, teeth chattering and watching my fingers turn blue, cursing my luck for escaping such a creature only to fall prey to something as natural as hypothermia.

Had I escaped, though? The more I thought about it, the more I realized I was exactly where she wanted me to be. I was alone. I had no idea where I was, or how far Dmitri and Ivah might be from my location. The only thing close to a landmark I had was the stars, and the storm had taken that from me, too. My chances of being rescued grew lower by the minute. The only person who knew where I was was the creature who had stranded me here. I was still alive, yes, but she had taken everything from me. She won.

I should have known there was more than one way to die at sea.

Either I died on land, waiting as the cold slowly overtook my body, or I jumped back into the water and hoped the Lady would be kind enough to make it quick. But I couldn’t go to her now. Not when I had fought so hard just to have this. Not when the water hurt just as much as the rain.

And just like that, she had taken my hope.

If there was any time I needed a bit of magic, it was now. I started singing to myself, hoping my daughter’s song would at least keep a small part of me warm. 

There were so many things I would miss if I died here. My younger daughter hadn’t even taken her first steps yet. I was never going to see that. I was never going to hear her first words, or learn her favorite song. I’d never see her eyes light up with the special kind of joy that came from the realization that we cooked her favorite meal on her birthday.

I would never have anything.

Her whole life was flashing before my eyes, and I could feel my absence from it like a knife to the throat.

I wanted to go to bed and wake up with my arms wrapped around my wife. I wanted to kiss my daughters goodnight. I wanted to get coffee with Dmitri and Ivah and thank them for trying to help. I wanted to get out of the rain. I wanted to  _ live.  _

I rubbed my legs, trying to get enough blood flow to stand. It took me a few tries to get up without my legs giving out from underneath me. When I did, I cupped my hands around my face and started shouting again.

Someone would hear me. They had to. There was too much waiting on the shore for me not to find my way home.

Suddenly, I heard Ivah calling for me and saw that their boat was almost upon me. Tears immediately started welling up in my eyes. For a moment, I felt nothing but the relief of being rescued, but then a chill shuddered through me. They did their best to try to dry me out and help me warm up from the cold. Dmitri kept fussing over me as Ivah steered us back home, but he couldn’t stop my teeth from chattering. Even when they helped me out of my clothes and brought me more blankets than I could ask for, I still felt the icy breeze of the sea. And I still feel it, now.

I haven’t been on a boat since. There’s just only so much a man’s willing to lose.

**GERTRUDE**

Unfortunately, I don’t believe I have anything that would solve your problem. Though, I might have something to keep away the worst of your chill.

**ALEXANDER**

No, I’m… It’s fine, really it is. I just wanted to make sure someone knew she was out there. I spent a long time wondering why she went through all the effort of scaring me just to leave me on that rock. It’d be nice to say she’s still got a human heart, underneath all that, but if she was trying to be kind, I wouldn’t feel so damn cold. I haven’t stopped shivering since that day. Doesn’t matter what the weather is, or how much I wear. Haven’t felt comfortable in ages.

**GERTRUDE**

I’m sorry.

**ALEXANDER**

I’ve been working as a builder, nowadays. Don’t talk much to my old crew. Not even to Ivah. It’s no one's fault, not really. There’s just not much left to say. We’re not a team like we used to be. I understand. But that’s something else she took from me.

**GERTRUDE**

Speaking of this  _ Ivah… _ she was aware of this myth. Did she by any chance hear a name this creature went by?

**ALEXANDER**

Most folks just call her The Siren. Some say she’s got her own waters that you can only find if you’re sailing somewhere that’s not on any map, but I’m not so sure. All I know is that I can’t listen to the rain without thinking of that day. And when I hear raindrops hitting the ground, it feels like she’s calling for me. Sometimes, I swear I even hear her laugh.

I… I try and avoid storms now, too. I’m just not so sure how much it matters, in the end.

**GERTRUDE**

Pardon?

**ALEXANDER**

I’m not sure how much there is to explain. It’s like I said; she’s good at waiting.

**[THUNDER BOOMS IN THE DISTANCE]**

**[CLICK]**

**Author's Note:**

> this was written for the avatar of fear zine! you can find a pdf of everyone's work, with much better formatting, here: https://avataroffearzine.tumblr.com/post/639155338580525056/hey-everyone-the-avatar-of-fear-a-magnus-archive  
> please go download it! it's a free zine, and everyone's work is so creative and beautiful, I'm so proud to be a part of this.  
> also, if you'd like to know more about the avatar in this fic, I wrote Gertrude asking for her statement! It's called "The Siren of the Lost Seas"


End file.
